Let it all workout
Why I think I could benefit from a little more trust and a little more uncertainty
I was sitting at the bar in Whistler with my sisters, talking to two bartenders about their upcoming scuba trip. One jokingly mocked the other for his laissez-faire travel style, which prompted him to share with us that in all his years of travel, he had never once booked lodging before arriving at his destination.
He proceeded to promote his unconventional style by sharing stories of unique experiences he was introduced to because of these self-imposed constraints. “It always works out — life really is not that hard,” he said to us with borderline appalling nonchalance.
A statement that, especially when uttered by a young, straight, white male working at a bar in one of the world’s premier ski towns, may elicit a spicy response peppered with your favorite expletives.
As he continued to share his perspective with us, he acknowledged some down sides, and eventually added some color to the whole “it’ll all work out” stance by sharing, that it depends on what you’re willing to tolerate.
Reflecting on the conversation after leaving the bar, I was reminded of my dear friend, who most would describe as having a stressful and intense work life. In some ways he would too, since he jokes about his love for “sitting in the fire.” And yet he manages to exude a cool and calming presence most of the time. He’s also a present father of 3, an active competitive athlete, and has created a life he loves.
When discussing his capacity to do all of these things at a high level, he’s shared a similar sentiment with me — things just kinda work out. Although, he adds a caveat to the equation: assuming you’re willing to figure things out.
On the surface, this mentality may seem vague, or generally unhelpful. But I think that’s kinda the beauty of it.
Life is ambiguous. There’s rarely a right answer and most people (myself included) like to work themselves up over-optimizing toward some make-believe standard of perfection. It’s a waste of time and energy.
The key to all of this is belief; belief that things will work out paired with an open mind regarding what “working out” will look like.
But optimism is hard and uncertainty is even harder.
The main barrier is typically trust and many people have understandable reasons to be distrustful of the world.
The natural response to distrust is doing something to try and take back control. That could be orienting toward negative outcomes so I can be the one to say “I saw it coming,” or micromanaging every little detail.
If I want to minimize surprises, this approach could be effective. But that’s not what I’m after.
I want to see what it’s like to live a life ruled by possibility rather than fear. In which case, a little more uncertainty and a little more trust could probably do me some good.
What I’ve been reading: Radical Acceptance, River of Doubt, Of Wolves and Men, Letting Go, Anything You Want
What I’ve been listening to: Noah Kahan
What I’ve been watching: Beef
Recommendation Zone:
The Brighter Side of Everything Be present - Keep moving forward - Seize opportunities. Subscribe